Charlie and I had a very specific relationship.  We both brought out such an interesting side of each other.  If you’ve ever been in the same room as Charles and I, we were likely right next to one another.  Most people couldn’t handle our back and forth – so many didn’t last long in our presence.  I’ve thought long and hard about what memory I could share.  I somehow can’t keep from hearing him (almost as if he’s over my shoulder) saying, “Meg just fucking say something real – don’t be a little bitch.”

I’m not sure.  Im not sure. I’m not sure which one is worthy because they are all so cherished.

The sappy fucker.

One of the many things we loved to do together that seemed to happen almost every time is dance. One year at Starfest we had just finished eating lunch together and the staff was starting to set up the stage for events. They were playing music in the mean time – but you know the type… Whatever is playing at your local dentist, probably. Anyways he asked if I wanted to dance and obviously I said yes you silly Bitch let’s go. Or something to that affect.
A song started to play that I’ll never forget. Wobble by V.I.C.  Now you have to understand, I love this song and was very badly attempting to teach him the dance. This was by no means a song Charlie had any business listening to but he indulged me anyway.  I’ll never forget grabbing hold of him and seeing the smile and pure joy on his face.  The shade of red his face made when he realized I realized how much fun he was having.

I miss him so incredibly much.  And I’m sorry this took me so long to write.  I wish I could relive every moment with him.

Knowing me this probably isn’t the memory you thought I would share.  But I don’t think anything else would have digested as well.

I’ll leave with this,

I was at a cemetery,
a shadow rose from a grave.
It repeated threatening gestures at me
with a middle finger in the right hand
And threw a handful of dirt in my direction with the other.
inscribed on the tombstone were the words,
love is stronger then death.

I love you deeply Charles.

– your second hand smoke,
Meg