So, mom, I have decided to write a blog.  I am thinking that it has always worked for you and I know Katie used to write in her journals all the time. Does she still?  Remember when we moved and her box of journals got wet and ruined?  She was so upset about that.

I think I know why now, even though I didn’t not know why then.    Anyway, that is what I am doing.  Look, I came up with this picture for the front page.

Do you like it?

I do like it.  It is very you.  I love the feeling of it. Really, that is all it is, a feeling. Every time I look at it, I get a different feeling…. I see all of your adventures and I feel your excitement about all the adventures you are going to have mext.

I could build the blog for you if you want.  A simple journal blog would only take me a few hours to build.

You are so cute.  Mom, I told you its not the same here. There is no need for a blog like you build. It”s really too hard to translate… but, just trust me that it is this way. And you can’t do things for me anymore. Anyway, that is one of the things I want to write about – about how I am doing things by and for myself now.

I just want to write my thoughts down and hold them somewhere for awhile. I don’t know why, really, it’s just something I need to do. Maybe so when you get here, we can share, or you can read them and not spend as much time as I did freaking out because you are not there any more.  Not sure, but, that is what I am going to do.  Gotta run, see you later.

Mom, mom, look!

Katie, what are you doing here?

Look, mom, that big frown is gone.  He is not rubbing his forehead trying to get rid of that constant headache.

Look, he is smiling in that old Charlie way. Wow, I can see that he doesn’t have anxiety any more.

Yes, I see. He reminds me of how young Charlie used to be…. happy.

I think it will be ok then.

Yes, Katie, it will be ok.